


Not all dreams are sweet

by Tolazytocomeupwithaname



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: And Probably A Hug, Angst, Fluff, Gen, The Doctor needs a nap, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:40:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21588523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tolazytocomeupwithaname/pseuds/Tolazytocomeupwithaname
Summary: Five times the Doctor doesn't get the rest she needs and one time she does.
Comments: 18
Kudos: 97





	Not all dreams are sweet

1.

Being woken up so soon after regeneration was a shock to the system but it couldn't be helped. Her new friends need her help. And she needs, she wanders into the kitchen deep in thought. She needs, she needs.

She takes a moment to steady herself on the counter. Stars she really isn’t ready yet. No time for sleep though. Not when her new friends are in danger. That's nothing new though. She should be fine just needs something to give her a bit of a kick start. That’s what she needs. 

She pulls open presses at random in search of inspiration. There on the top shelf. Good old instant coffee. She has to pull over a chair to reach wincing at the noise it makes as she drags it across the linoleum. She really misses her long legs. 

Before climbing up she allows herself a moment to lay her head on the counter. She just needed to sort out this Tim Shaw nonsense then she could find her tardis and get some rest. Her tardis. She took priority. She just needs her head to stop spinning first. 

“Are you okay?” 

She startles out of her doze. 

“Of course I am I’m always okay,” she says as she uses her arms to push herself back upwards. She wills her legs to stop shaking. 

Her new friends watching her with a frown and she needs him to believe she’s invincible. She needs him to trust her. All kinds of trouble can come when humans start questioning her. She can’t have another situation like Bill. Luckily another wave of dizziness washes over her before her thoughts can take her too far down that path. 

He takes a step closer as she scrambles onto the chair and she absentmindedly bats him away with one hand. Once she has her prize in her hands she wastes no time looking for a mug. Instead she tips half the bag directly into her open mouth.

“I can make you an actual cup of coffee if you want.”

She shakes her head mouth still full of powder wincing at the bitter taste. She doesn’t need a cup. She needs, she needs. There. She counts out four spoons of the sweet white substance for luck, one for each of her new friends.

“Right” she says as she turns back to her new friend, tall with dark kind eyes and very little hair means “Ryan” she’s fairly certain she got that right. He doesn’t correct her anyway. 

“Lets get that bomb out of you.”

2.

After her sixteenth unsuccessful attempt to get her new friends home she calls it a night. Well not really a night because they’re in the void which doesn’t really have a night/day cycle but some down time anyway. After sending the humans to bed she settles down to making some calculations. If she can just figure out what’s preventing them from reaching Sheffield she should be able to work around it. 

She’s completely focused on her work when she hears a cough behind her. Which is odd because she’s in her study and usually the tardis keeps this as a human free zone. Yet there is Yaz almost as if her ship. Ah. That explains a lot actually. 

“Hey” she shuffles her feet uncertainly for a second before her eyes steel in determination. “Shouldn’t you be in bed too?”

“Nah. Sleep’s for humans,” she frowns “speaking of what are you still doing up?” 

“I got up to get a glass of water. I must have got lost somehow because when I tried to go back the way I came I ended up here. Are you sure you don’t need to get some sleep,” she hesitates again “you look kinda tired.”

“Can’t. I’ve got important work to do.” 

Yaz still looks uncertain. She cranes her neck to get a better look at what the Doctor is doing. “Important work includes drawing circles?” she furrows her eyebrows in disbelief. 

The Doctor keeps her head down pretending to examine what she’s just written as she suppresses a laugh. “Nothing wrong with a good doodle session to keep the brain juice flowing. Have I ever told you about the time I met Vincent Van Gogh. now there’s a man who knew the power of a good drawing sesh.”

Yaz refuses to be distracted by her story which is a pity because it’s a good one. “We’re friends, right? If something is bothering you we can talk about it.” she says as she reaches over to give her hand a comforting squeeze. 

Worry and exhaustion swirl together in a dizzying blend that makes it almost impossible to concentrate. She yanks her hand away ignoring the hurt that flashes across Yaz’s face with a twinge of guilt.

She’d guessed her telepathy was stronger earlier when Graham had placed his hand on her shoulder but wow. Without her t-shirts and coat to shield her from the brunt of their feelings humans practically shouted their feelings. Any species who was any way psychically inclined would be able to see them coming a mile off. 

“Right now I’m mostly worried about getting you lot home. Not that you should be worried. I always end up getting where I want in the end. Just takes me a couple of trys sometimes but it’ll all work out in the end. Promise.”

“If you’re sure.” Yaz says. She still doesn’t look convinced but they’re not close enough for Yaz to feel like she can push. Probably best to keep it that way. Especially after. She quickly returns her focus to her work before her thoughts can travel to far down that path. 

She returns to her work with renewed focus. At least now that she knows her traitor of a ship is working against her she should be able to, her thoughts are interrupted by another cough. Right. Yaz. Why was Yaz still? Oh. 

“Would you like me to walk you back to your room?”

“Yes please” Yaz nodded gratefully. “This place is like a maze.”

She can afford a quick break to make sure sexy doesn’t send Yaz on any more detours. Then it’s back to work.

3\. 

She jerks awakes in the swing under the console stiffing a grown at pain in her side from the sudden movement. She’s okay. She’s safe. 

“Maybe she’s not here. Do you think she has a room?”

“Dunno. She’s usually just sort of hanging around in here at night. Or at least she is whenever I come looking for her. I think she has like an office or something but I’ve only been able to find it once” 

“Can’t imagine the Doctor with an office. What would she even do in an office. Wait. Do you two have secret midnight chats then? Or are you too busy doing something other than talking.” she could practically hear Ryan's smirk.

“Shut up. We’re friends. You’re as bad as my mum.” 

That sounded like a good a time as any to make her presence known.

“Hi fam. Or most of my fam anyway.” she stifles a laugh at the way they jump in surprise. It’s fun to have friends who havn’t quite figured her out again. 

It takes the pair a few moments of searching before Yaz spots her. “What are you dong down there?”

“Oh you know just doing some repairs,” she says, holding up the wrench still clutched in her fist as proof. 

Yaz blinks. Surprised. “Oh. We thought you might be asleep.”

“Mabil said you should take it easy for the next few days. She was pretty reluctant to let you out of that hospital at all.” Ryan says squinting at her critically. “I think she’s right. You’re looking kind of pale mate.”

“ What did she go and tell you that for. So much for Doctor patient confidentiality. Two Doctors should have made it twice as confidential. Bloody traitor” 

“She’s just worried. We all are,” Yaz glances at Ryan for reassurance before continuing on, “it’s been a long day, maybe you should head to bed.”

“There’s no need. Honestly. I’m fine. You two head off to bed. I’ll have the tardis sorted by morning.” It takes her a few trys to scramble to her feet in order to show them how okay she is but she makes it and is relatively steady once she gets there. She wouldn’t hold up under much duress but it gets the job done.

Ryan opens his mouth, hesitates and says “Okay, you don’t want to sleep. That’s fine. How about we head into the kitchen for a cup of tea.”

She begins to argue before she catches sight of Yaz. She has a poor track record of saying no to girls like Yaz when they look at her like that.

“Fine if it’ll make you happy but honestly I’m fine.”

The Tardis probably sensing how unsteady her thief was currently feeling placed the kitchen blessedly close to the console room. Once there she allows the younger pair to make the tea if only to make them feel useful while they chatter away to her about where they want to go next. She tunes them out and instead focuses all her energy on sitting up straight. She does insist on adding her own milk and suger. She’s not an invalid after all. 

“Doctor. Doctor! I think you overdid it a bit there.” 

She blinks and realises her mug contains more suger than tea. Oh well maybe it will help to fight off the last of the drowsiness. “I always have my tea like this. Suger makes everything taste better.” 

She gulps the mug down in a single gulp before rising shakily again. “Thanks for the tea lads. It was just the pick me up I needed before finishing these repairs. She ignores their protests as she heads back to the console room. No rest for the wicked after all. 

4\. 

She wakes with a jolt despite the fact that she doesn’t remember falling asleep. Her arms are stiff and stretched uncomfortably above her and when she gives them a tug she realises she’s being held upright by her shackled wrists. Not ideal then. She spends a few minutes tugging at them to check their strength before she realises she has company. 

“Doctor. You’re awake.”

She turns her head to see a very relieved looking Ryan.

“I am now. What happened.”

“These alien things grabbed us at the market. You got a pretty bad bang to the head. I was afraid,” he shakes his head as if to banish the thought “never mind. Can you get us out of here. They injected us with, well I don’t know what it was but it can’t be good, right?”

That certainly doesn’t bode well. She takes a moment to assess her physical state. At first all she can feel is the stiffness in her arms and the throbbing in her head but after a moment she feels the poison coursing through her body. Oh, that’s definitely not good. She glances at Ryan, who's still looking at her with big worried eyes. 

“I know what it is and we’ll be fine. Honestly there’s nothing to worry about. Well I say nothing but what I mean is I’m a little bit worried but that doesn’t mean you need to worry. That’s my job. Chief worrier is practically my job description. I’m the best at it, had the most practice at any rate.”

“Doctor.” 

“We’ll be fine. Promise. I just wouldn’t recommend taking nap before we get sorted. Still nothing to worry about. I’ve got stuff on the Tardis that’ll sort it.”

“Why what’ll happen?”

She doesn’t answer for a few minutes. Instead she gives a little wiggle and to her relief she feels her sonic still in her coat pocket. She gives another wiggle to get it into position before bumping her hip against the wall to hit the button. At the comforting whirring sound of her screwdriver the shackles fall from her wrists.

“To you? I’m not sure. Never seen it used on humans before. If it works as intended it’ll basically microwave our brains into this sort of goopy brainy soup. But only if we fall asleep. We’ll be fine so long as we stay awake,” she says rubbing the stiffness out of her wrists.

He makes a noise that tells her she isn’t doing as good a job being comforting as she had intended. 

“It’ll be fine,” she says as she works on freeing him too.” Look I pinky swear to you Ryan Sinclair that I will get you out of here alive and safe. You can’t break a pinky swear.” 

That gets her a laugh at least although she can feel the fear coming off him in waves as she wraps her pinky around his. 

She hesitates before linking hands with Ryan, doing her best to mute the influx of fear and worry. Easier to monitor his condition this way. 

She pulls him along the corridor as quickly as she can manage. He trys to talk to her a few times over the course of the hour but each time she shushes him. She needs to concentrate and already she can feel the exhaustion begging her to close her eyes for just a moment. Worse, it was getting harder and harder to separate out her own thoughts from Ryans.

She shrugs off her own concern. She just needs to keep moving. One foot in front of the other. She’ll be fine so long as she can get back to the Tardis. 

She’s worried about someone. Really worried. But she can’t focus well enough to figure out why. Dimly she registers someone calling her name but she’s so tired all she wants to do is sleep. Whatever the problem is can wait till morning. Why is she walking when she’s so tired? But when she trys to stop a hand wrapped around hers tugs her back into motion. 

She’s extremely worried now. She’s sick with it but she can’t quite figure out why. There’s a distant voice speaking to her in encouraging tones but she can’t quite figure out what they’re saying. She makes it about ten more minutes before she can’t manage anymore. She just needs a moment to rest her eyes. 

She opens her eyes blearily mere seconds later when she feels someone shaking her shoulders. She’s not sure how it happened but she’s lying on the ground. At least her thoughts are quieter now. Whoever she was so worried about seems to be okay because that worry is gone now. 

“Doctor.” she opens her eyes which she’d apparently closed again and meets a pair of dark worried ones. 

“She doesn't look too good” comes a second voice from somewhere to her left. 

“She’s been drugged. There’s something in the tardis to sort it but we can’t let her sleep.”

“Oh no you don’t” says a third voice as she lets her eyes drift closed again. A hand taps at her cheek. She weakly tries to swat it away without opening her eyes. She just needs to rest for a bit. Then she’ll be fine. 

“Come on Doc you need to stay awake.” 

She groans as a hand wraps around hers and pulls her upwards. Once upright she slumps forward only to be stopped by two solid weights securing themselves under each of her armpits. 

“No sleeping now. Not until we get you back to the Tardis.”

“Just five min’tes” her speech sounds slurred even to her own ears. But her protests are ignored as the weights on either side of her begin to move propelling her forward and forcing her to follow suit. 

“Come on now Doc stay with us. Just put one foot in front of the other.”

Every step increases her exhaustion but she’s forced to keep moving. After what feels like an eternity she feels a prickle of something comforting on the edge of her consciousness. Dimly she registers frantic voices and the feeling of being jostled but she’s too far gone to figure out what’s happening. She just wants to rest. 

She feels a sharp pain in her arm and suddenly she’s full of energy. Her eyes shoot open with a gasp to see her three very worried looking friends clustered around her in the ships med bay. Graham has a large syringe clutched in his hands and they all three look near tears. 

“Morning fam,” she grins brightly but tiredly, adrenaline already leaving her system. She’s not even surprised at the way they launch themselves at her to wrap her up in a hug. 

5\. 

She’s sitting in the doorway gazing out at the stars. She’s just beginning to doze off when her ship lets her know one of the humans is up and about. She’s already made it to the kitchen and back with two steaming cups of tea by the time Graham finds his way to the console room. 

“Dunno how you always do that,” Graham says giving her a tired smile.

“Grandfather powers still come in handy now and again.”

He gives her a bemused look but doesn’t question her. 

She pats the spot on the floor beside her. Once he’s sitting she hands him his cup of tea. They sit in silence for a few minutes before Graham gathers his thoughts enough to speak.

“Back when we first met. After Grace, well after Grace. I was thinking about what you said. About carrying your family with you. And I’m wondering when that’ll be enough. Because I still have this massive hole in my heart where Grace used to be." 

She swings her legs absentmindedly before taking a long sip of tea. “Time helps. But I don’t think that feeling ever really goes away.”

“So what do you do?”

“I guess you keep living life. Distract yourself, make new friends. You can’t replace those you love and it never really goes away but it does get easier.”

She stifles a yawn before giving Grahams arm an awkward pat making sure to avoid any contact with his skin. “Bedtime. Humans need their sleep.”

“You look like you could do with some sleep yourself Doc.”

“Nonsense.”

“Do you ever have bad dreams Doc?”

“Can’t dream if you never sleep” she mutters bitterly only to immediately regret it when she sees the concern in his eyes. 

“Kidding. I’m kidding. Timelords don’t need much sleep. There’s no need to worry about silly old me.” 

“Time lord? Is that what they call you,?” he asks thankfully distracted. 

“Don’t judge, it’s not like I’m the one who came up with it.”

“No judgement here, just curious is all.”

“Five points to Graham for asking questions then,” she murmers sleep finally reclaiming her.

She wakes less then ten minutes later jolting out of a nightmare. Alone. She gets unsteadily to her feet, that’s definitely enough sleep for now, to find Graham has draped his dressing gown over her shoulders. 

6.

No matter how many times she trys to go to the console room she comes back to the library. So eventually she gives in. “This better not be a trap,” she murmurs as she opens the door.

She blinks in confusion at the sight before her. The entire library had been turned into a giant blanket fort. Her fam stand grinning in front of it.

Yaz takes her hand and the sudden influx of emotions is so overwhelming that she completely misses what Yaz says to her. Yaz takes advantage of her moment of distraction to pull her into the fort with the boys following closely behind.

Maybe she should start wearing gloves. Oh she could make them sonic. With a different attachment for each finger.

“Do you think I could integrate a custard cream dispenser into my gloves?”

“What gloves?”

“The gloves I’m getting so I can hold hands without actually touching anyone.”

Yazs’ face goes through a series of expressions that the Doctor struggles to decipher before settling on something soft. “Would you like us to not touch you?”

She gives a silent nod, feeling suddenly caught off guard by the brief moment of vulnerability.

Ryan passes her a stuffed shark from the line of stuffed animals and Yaz drapes a poofy pink monstrosity over her shoulders before pulling her into a hug the blanket blocking any actual skin on skin contact. Ryan nestles in beside them while Graham settles into the armchair that only barely fits in the fort. 

“I don’t think my back can take a night on the floor but I’ll stay here until you kids fall asleep.” Graham says.

“I’m older than any of you. I don’t need a babysitter.”

That causes Ryan to sit up and shoot her a look. “Wait. how old are you?”

“She’s just trying to distract you,” Yaz says as she pulls him back into formation “although we’re definitely talking about that comment in the morning.”

She lies nestled between Yaz and Ryan, the fluffy pink blanket shielding her from actually having to make contact with her skin. She’ll never admit it but it feels nice to be cocooned like this. Safe. “I’m only doing this to humour you you know” she yawns as snuggles into Yaz. 

“Yeah, we know” Ryan says although she can feel him smiling without having to turn to see his face. 

“Just get some rest. We’ll be here when you wake up,” Yaz says giving her a comforting squeeze. 

Maybe she should just rest her eyes for a moment. Just to stop her fam from worrying she thinks as the last of her consciousness drifts away. 

She wakes a few times over the course of the night but each time she’s surrounded by her fam and feels safe enough to let sleep reclaim her without much fuss.


End file.
